A glossary of terms that are just so... Swish Appeal

I can only imagine how cold that drink feels on Glen Taylor's bald spot. - Brett Davis-USA TODAY Sports

I've been meaning to put something on this but didn't want to do it during the playoffs. But now that the WNBA season is over, let's take a playful look at some of those terms and other facts that we saw in our comments over the past year. You can call this the Swish Appeal Glossary.

In one of our game threads during the playoffs, Nate referred to a "mythical Swish Appeal glossary." Now.... that glossary is reality, with a good chunk of the terms we often say and are like our own slang, which some people don't get at first glance sometimes though I think most of these are easy to decipher but I'm a regular. Now's a good time to show all of that.

So here's a list of terms from A to Z and some numbers:

Albert Lee Appliance - The Seattle-based appliance store chain had some regular commercials during Storm home games. I got a kick out of it for some reason.

Big Brother - Refers to the mysterious Swish Appeal Admin, who occasionally posts something out of the blue and then everyone gets scared to their senses.

Big Three Rookies - Refers to Brittney Griner, Elena Delle Donne, and Skylar Diggins, the top three picks in the 2013 WNBA Draft. There's another term for them, but we disagree with that term.

Bulletin Board Material - This is a Nate term. It refers to posts that we put on here where we count teams out or insult them, and then those teams refer to those particular posts as potential motivation against us.

Career High (verb) - We haven't used this term in awhile, but Jessica Lantz did use this a number of times, like before Danielle Robinson became....Danielle Robinson.

Crow - Refers to the type of bird we eat after we are proven wrong beyond a reasonable doubt, usually when teams or players overachieve previous things said about them. We had a lot of it toward the end of the season.

#DosLynx - The Lynx won two championships. Dos is two in Spanish. Rhymes with Los when the team and its fans used #LosLynx in many tweets.

Dynasty Watch - Our watch to see if the Minnesota Lynx will win a second title in three years, which they did. Shannon made a great photo which is seen below:

Dynasty_watch_medium

Epiphanny Prince - I put her here because no current players have a last name with an E. but Prince had a great year helping lead the Sky to the playoffs, and the team had an epiphany when EDD got drafted. I also hope the Mystics have an epiphany when it comes to getting a top star on their team...

Fowles, Sylvia - She had 66 fowles in the 2013 season and had 7 more in the playoffs. That was such a great pun right there.

"Go Blue" - Some rally cry by University of Michigan students, alums, and fans. Only on Swish Appeal do you see people yell this slogan AND like Tayler Hill at the same time. How can you yell go "Color?" Then again I guess Syracuse does the same thing.

"Half Price" - A nickname used for Armintie Herrington from 2009-12 when she went by her maiden name of Price. It refers to her dismal free throw shooting - her .568 career free-throw percentage as of 2013 made it likely that she'd only hit one of two free throws during a two-fer at the free throw line. Name now defunct because there is no bell rung when someone says "Half Herrington".

Hyphenating names - It's not an actual term, but some players have hyphenated their last names after getting married. Often used in jest with male fans hypothetically holding up "Will You Marry Me" signs to players in this league.

Here's the WNBA's favorite music video. If you don't like the video's cussing. I DON'T CARE! I LOVE IT!!!

I LOVE IT!!!: The 2013 WNBA season featured this hit song by Icona Pop called "I Love It." I just say it randomly, but if we love something, blurting this out is appropriate. I just don't care too much for the song though. Most of us actually hate it. but Laurel Richie told us:

"I DON'T CARE! I LOVE IT!!!!"

Adam Silver and David Stern also have this song on their smartphones and blast this on their car stereos.

Jacket - Minnesota Lynx Head Coach Cheryl Reeve threw it in the 2012 Finals when she had a temper tantrum. There some moments when we wondered if another jacket was going to be a casualty. But it never happened.

Jam - A good preserve to have with some bread and crackers.  It could also work as a good dessert.  This term comes from Jim Hu (who is one of the contributors at SBN TAMU blog Good Bull Hunting), who made a great FanPost here.  I may have to get some in the crow variety.

KD - Kevin Durant, a forward for the Oklahoma City Thunder. He's arguably the best player in the NBA overall after....LeBron. Durant's Monica Wright's fianceé. Maybe he wants to play for the Wolves where his wife to be plays for the Lynx? Or to his hometown in Washington where he can play for the Wizards?  Maybe Wright could force a move there too so she can start? Hmmmm.....

LiveAccess - This is the WNBA's online video platform that allows fans to watch most games online. It doesn't work properly a lot of the time like video but no audio during some games, among other things. Something's wrong in the NBA's IT Department I guess...

Lori Ann - The hypothetical alter-ego of Angel McCoughtry, mentioned in this WNBA interview. Since then, WNBA fans invoke the name of Lori Ann whenever McCoughtry is involved in a brouhaha off the court (the Meadors firing in 2012) or makes poor decisions on the court, which are of course blamed on her alter-ego.

A claim was made in 2013 that Lori Ann was killed off. And some people also believe that David Banner is dead, and he must let the world think that he is dead, until he can find a way to control the raging spirit that dwells within him.

Miller, Dave - He is the halftime analyst for the Los Angeles Lakers and Sparks on Time Warner Sportsnet. Easily the best WNBA broadcast analyst because he sticks with basketball. ESPN, NBA TV, HIRE THIS MAN!

Mods - Rarely used term, but stands for moderators/the Po-po/the censors. Who are these shackling scumbags, I mean esteemed notebearers? Nate, Jessica Lantz, James Bowman, Queenie, Big Brother (I think...), and.... me?

Mohawk - Refers to the hairdo that Indiana Fever rookie guard Layshia Clarendon had this past summer and in college the season before where she was a star for the California Golden Bears. We also need to note that San Antonio Silver Stars guard Danielle Robinson also had a mohawk even dating to last year. Also, feel free to debate which player has the better mohawk.

Monumental Sports & Entertainment: We just call it Monumental Sports most of the time. This is the ownership group for the Washington Capitals, Mystics, and Wizards, as well as Verizon Center which is led by Ted Leonsis who has his own blog here. Often we will say Monumental instead of one of the team names and it's the same thing. They're part of the same company.

We have some other Monumental terms which are all derived from the company name. First is Monumental Network, the company's digital media and properties platform. Among all the ownership groups in the WNBA, we here at Swish Appeal believe that Monumental Sports definitely does the best job by far in terms of online content for its teams' fans including the Caps and Wiz. If you're wondering why the Mystics and their brother teams have the least amount of digital content with league sites in recent months, well, it's because it's now here instead.

There's also Monumental Rewards, a multi-team platform for season ticket holders to redeem memorabilia, and other goodies surrounding the teams, and other events at Verizon Center.

Then, we often call the shade of red that the company's teams wear as Monumental Red as all three teams wear a lot of red (pics for CapsMystics Wiz). Speaking about the color red, that's the name of Taylor Swift's latest full studio album. Give it a listen on Spotify.

NA, NA, NAAA, NAAAAAA, NAAA, NA, NA NAAAA!!!!

Nana - Nickname for Washington Mystics guard Nadirah McKenith, who is one of our favorites in the 2013 rookie class.

It works perfectly with Macklemore and Lewis' hit song "Can't Hold Us" Click on the video, and then play 4:29 to 4:55. That's why the Mystics had that song as their opening intro song at warmups and even better then McKenith is zoomed in on during that segment of the song.

Novosel (verb) - We have two competing definitions for this term which was named after Natalie Novosel, who was the lone rookie on the 2012 Washington Mystics team.

Here is the way I would define it which I wrote in a comment here:

The act of coaches benching [and not playing] rookie players even though the players ahead of them do not mean much for a team’s long term future.

Shades however has a different definition, which makes it look like fans are putting players in that situation, along with getting some paperwork signed with the US Patent and Trademark Office, which was in full operation during the recent US partial government shutdown, or so he says.  So here's his definition of Novosel™ as a verb:

The act of [fans] cursing rookie [players] and rendering them ineffective by being overly obsessed with them.

I strongly disagree with the second definition, because, how can a player be ineffective when that player never gets to play in the first place? But oh well. Fortunately the Mystics have better coaches now.

OGS - Our Girls Syndrome. We refer to that as a state of fans who are adamant that regional college or local native players play on their local professional teams, even if that hurts the potential of that team (ex- Washington Mystics have made such moves that didn't pan out). To be fair, some other teams, like the Minnesota Lynx were able to get players for OGS reasons as well as basketball ones, and things panned out very well.

Prahalis, Samantha - A casualty of the Corey Gaines regime for the 2013 season and one of our community members, Jet Jaguar was not pleased with what transpired. From All-Rookie team in 2012 to WNBA castaway a year later? Either she's that bad or Corey Gaines didn't know what he was doing though he was terminated midseason.

I don't think Prahalis is a superstar in the league, but I have to lean a bit toward the latter. I could see her on the Mystics where she plays on the same team as another Ohio State alum. I'm "really" trying to limit my uses of her name. I see you Shades and ttdomi!

Quick Ain't Fair - Literally, this is the slogan of Adidas' Crazyquick shoes, the most notable athlete wearing them is Washington Wizards guard John Wall who has his name on his. But here, we use this term with really fast players in the W, like Danielle Robinson, even though she wears NIKE SHOES!!!!

Referees - There are a lot of complaints on the officiating in this league. But let's put some things in perspective too given that the WNBA is an NBA owned and operated league.

SB Nation - SB Nation is the parent network this site is part of. SB Nation provides over 300 blogs in a wide variety of sports, and the majority of them are dedicated to individual sports teams, including a blog for each team in the Big Four Leagues (NFL, NBA, MLB, NHL) as well as most college teams in the NCAA power conferences. Our blog as a non-team specific blog is actually more of an exception than a rule.

Our blog is part of the SB Nation NBA group, which includes one blog for each of the 30 teams in the NBA, as well as three more:  You're at one of those three extra sites.   Of the other non-team specific SBN NBA blogs, one is Ridiculous Upside, which is dedicated to the NBA D-League, like this place is for the W. The other is Sonics Rising, which is dedicated to keeping the movement for the return of NBA basketball to the Emerald City alive.

Señor Fred - the nickname for former Atlanta Dream coach Fred Williams. It comes from a nickname he was given by Cheryl Miller and Cynthia Cooper-Dyke back when he was working at USC. He doesn't know why he's called that, but the name comes from affection.

STH - Season Ticket Holder.

Sue-mitten - Shades has a succinct definition which I'll quote here.

The [state of having] irrational love of [Seattle Storm guard] Sue Bird.

Tayler Hill's Hometown Team - A Swish Appeal term for the Minnesota Lynx.  Washington Mystics guard Tayler Hill is from Minneapolis and has been the subject of some unfounded trade rumors back to her hometown because of OGS.

Taylerstruck - The state of having irrational love for Tayler Hill. If you read this site with regularity, you may be thinking that everyone here is taylerstruck, since she got more pixels than the other three draft lottery picks combined this past season. That is just HERESY!

Ten Point Rebuilding Plan - Also known as the Ten Point Plan for short which you can read here from Hogs Haven, our Washington Redskins SB Nation site. The aforementioned Ted Leonsis made a Ten Point rebuilding plan for the Washington Capitals which helped turn them around and did a plan like that with the Wizards and we've embedded a number of Monumental Network videos showing him talk about that.

I at least think WNBA teams that are going nowhere should also use this plan, even if it means getting rid of sentimental favorites, though I won't name which ones here.

Three Words That Shalt Not Be Mentioned - See that link I gave with the "Big Three Rookies." Not talking about it again.

Third Person Reference - Whenever a writer says his or her name without saying "I." ttdomi has called Albert out on it a few times.

Treadmill of Mediocrity - It is also referred to as Treadmill for short.  This is a state of a team that is not good enough to win it all, and not quite bad enough to be the worst and get a top pick in the Draft Lottery to rebuild. In the WNBA, teams that are lower half bracket playoff teams are often burning calories on this thing.

Also, teams that should be lottery teams, but are aiming to make the playoffs instead also qualify as such assuming that they do end up being borderline playoff teams. Lastly, we could argue that having a GM and head coach in the same body could basically condemn teams to be on the treadmill as well.

In short, the Treadmill of Mediocrity is the worst state any team in this league can be on.  The best remedy is to blow it up and start building through the draft.

UNLEASH THE FURY!

Unleash - Basically our call to a coach to get a player who often doesn't play much to do something, and it's often called with rookies. Usually this comes in a three word slogan, like "Unleash the Fury." And that's where this came from. In the movie Road Trip featuring Tom Green, his character gets really mad about his pet snake not eating a mouse hence he yells "Unleash the fury!"

The Washington Capitals play a Tayler- , okay, tailor-made video with Green yelling the same line at the end in a Caps jersey. Yelling those three words are like... the best thing ever when the score's close.

For this site, that started with Natalie Novosel on the Washington Mystics not playing much during the 2012 season despite the fact that there was nothing to lose with her getting rotation minutes. It is often used in meme form as you can see here.

Shades has also taken Unleash to a new level, by releasing memes like "Unfurl the Faris!" and "Unjar the Jarry!" among others which is done in the same spirit.

Vaughn, Kia - The Washington Mystics center had a solid year in DC for 2013. She loves Beyoncé, possibly to a fault:

And Queenie also concurs. And Shannon too!

And she loves helium. I just had to re-embed the video from Monumental Network (if you can't see it, click here):

video platformvideo managementvideo solutionsvideo player

Vox Media - Vox Media is the parent company of SB Nation. It also owns The Verge, which is a technology news and trends site and Polygon, a video game news site. The coolest part about all The Verge AND Polygon is this. Your SB Nation membership is also fully integrated into both The Verge and Polygon, where you can participate in comments like you do here and on other SB Nation blogs.

Vox Media's headquarters is located in Washington, DC.

Update: In November 2013, Vox Media bought The Curbed Network, which also include Curbed, a real estate blogging network; Eater, a restaurant blogging network, and Racked, a retail and fashion blogging network.  Read more on them by clicking here.

Washington (pun) - I use this semi-pun often for the Seattle Storm and the Washington Mystics. Seattle's in Washington State; Washington is in DC.

Whalendoze: This is a MUST ADD after seeing this old twitter exchange:

And it also can be defined as this, per Nate:

The act of a point guard running through a defender on their way to the basket during a game of basketball.

The term is named after Minnesota Lynx guard Lindsay Whalen.  She once played for Mike Thibault.

The SB Nation Song of the Day: It ain't random. It fits in with a key term in our site. Now if only Mr. Derulo had this out earlier in the summer...

Will You Marry Me - Some sports fans are too obsessed with players and have the audacity to think that their favorite player will marry them let alone go out to lunch with them to Chipotle or some other fast casual place. There is a dating service called It's Just Lunch too by the way. But I digress. Now if only some fans would go all out like Jason Derulo, this could be interesting.

X-Factor - Someone who can make big impacts for a team. Especially for the playoffs. See here and here.

Y U No Guy - Mr. Y U No Guy is our watchdog. He calls out the egregious things that happen around this league.

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The past's the past, but... U NO that was just something really tough for DC.

Zellous, Shavonte - She was a Commendable Expendable since she helped Tamika Catchings win a title last year. But for this year, because of an All-Star appearance and this cameo:

Tumblr_mqmgqiaxmj1s0tr83o1_400_medium

Tumblr_mqmgqiaxmj1s0tr83o2_400_medium

she's now a Commendable Un-expendable! (that was a corny use of words, but oh so true!)

2 - The number of times Phoenix Mercury guard Diana Taurasi got suspended for the number of technical fouls she received during the WNBA season.

3 - The number of times Ivory Latta won Eastern Conference Player of the Week and the number of times Mike Thibault won the WNBA Coach of the Year Award.

3 to Fear - Minnesota Lynx Head Coach Cheryl Reeve believes this is the best "Big Three" in the league: Lindsay Whalen, Seimone Augustus, and Maya Moore. For most of the writers on this site, we take this more literally. They're Nate Parham, Swish Appeal Admin, and Seth Pollack, our SBN NBA League Manager. (Please don't ban me!)

3 to See - I think I may get called out for using three evil words. BUT!!!! Here's our definition. It refers to any top three players you want to see. You are the fan and you have the right to pick your favorite three players! Don't let ESPN put words in your mouth!

4 - The Mystics picked fourth in the draft and had four rookies. Then, there are four lottery picks. We might as well call them the Four to Adore which ttdomi wisely used.

And then there's also Nate's Four Factors to winning games when there's some analysis to look at.....

10 - That's how many consecutive playoff appearances the Seattle Storm made, a WNBA record. We can talk about treadmills all we want, but it's still impressive that the Bird and Jackson Era has yielded 10 straight playoff appearances, even one in a year where neither of them could play. And 10 is Bird's number... I think.

11 - The number of players per team in the WNBA, which I think the vast majority of us agree is pathetic given the injuries this year.

11 is also the number of teams with at least one player invited to the USA Basketball mini-camp for the 2014 FIBA World Championship/2016 Olympics.

22 - The age of many rookies in this league because American players have to be at least four years out of high school.  Considering that people generally enter kindergarten at around the age of 5 and graduate from high school around the time they turn 18, after four years of college, they're 22!

From now on, when people turn 22, THIS SONG SHALT BE PLAYED!

There's also a cool song to celebrate that age which is to the right of this line..  It just one upped 21 which is a turning point in college students' lives since they can now go to a bar and have a drink.

If you are reading this and aren't 21 yet, serious note.  Please celebrate wisely and responsibly.  It really isn't worth having 21 drinks on that day and risking death from it.  Really, it's not.  And besides, didn't Taylor Swift make being 22 so much more fun?

Even Liz Cambage concurs that there is at least some merit with turning 22.

51 - The number of points Tulsa Shock guard Riquna Williams scored in a win over the San Antonio Silver Stars, a WNBA record. Here's Jake's infographic to show just how great this accomplishment was.

223 - The number of regular season games Mike Thibault has won as a WNBA head coach, more than any other coach in the WNBA.

$1,000,000.00 - Well, it's from a tweet below, but the Lynx made nearly this much in profit.

WINNING!!!!!!!!

Obviously, this list can't possibly be all-inclusive. If there's any terms we missed, feel free to say so and it may be added on. Enjoy reading our terms!

Note: Both Nate Parham and James Bowman have contributed to this post.

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